washing machine

If I could hit my head,
Over,
And over,
And over,
And over again,
Like in a washing machine,
It goes bumpity,
Bumpity,
Bump,
Washing away the pain that's in my mind with less powerful pain in my bleeding head,
A blood filled tide pod fills my head with the fresh scent of blood, 
Blood that oozes out
Blood that seeps in to my surrounding skin,
As satisfying to watch as the bubbles bouncing round and round,
Dreams of having a hammer right here with me,
Thump,
Thump,
It will go on my skin,
Knocking through the walls of my skull,
To the gothic interior within,
Knocking the glass of the light bulb,
So I can sleep tonight,
If I could hit my head,
Over,
And over,
And over,
And over,
And over,
And over again,
Knocking the dark thoughts out of my mind,
Bleaching my brain from dark to light,
Like a washing machine,
Like a hammer,
Hitting my mind simply allows it to shatter

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

there for you

Eat salad it's good for you, Go on a walk twice a day, Listen to nonsense on TV, Ring samaritans, They there for you, Drink water it's good for you, See the sky twice a day, Listen to nonsense on a call too samaritans, Ring 111, 111 is there for you, Eat an apple it's good for you, Breathe the fresh air twice a day, Listen to nonsense on a call too 111, Go to your GP  your GP is there for you, Drink a smoothie it's good for you, Feel the trews twice a day, Listen to the nonsense of the GP, Go to A&E, A&E is there for you, Eat a pea it's good for you, Sit in the grass twice a day, Listen to the nonsense of the under trained mental health nurse,  Go to nobody, Nobody is there for you, Nobody can be, Nobody has the time nor money. 
Read more

life update

I feel a bit deppressed, Like please can I have a cardiac arrest, Like stuff me full of chocolate and sweets cuz hopefully at best it will keep me alive for another week, Maybe it's that time, Maybe it's that time to wear a dress fuck the rest of the world, Flip the desk, Behave like a nutcase, Shit all over the staircase, Steal someone's briefcase, I feel a bit dead like, Like am I a ghost in this house, Am I really as quiet as actual mouse, Surely they can hear the screams to douse me in petrol and set me alight, Surely they can see my inner inner fight, Like can they not see that my anxiety is like I'm on a first date night, You see I feel a bit anxious, Like the world is closing in on us, Bad things our gonna happen to us, Bad things that I can't control, Like the rolling and rolling out the cancer and disease, social expectations and the unease of spending money freely on what I need, You see I feel I can't get what I need, I can't g...
Read more

the mental crisis chair

This is the mental crisis chair, It's cold, It's brittle, It's hard, It's shit, This is the mental crisis chair, Heavy so I cant throw it, This is the mental crisis chair, Restraining my comfort, This is the mental crisis chair, It's cold, It's brittle, It's hard, It's shit, This is the mental crisis chair, Moulded with layers and layers of trauma, Scarred with blood and tears, This is the mental crisis chair, And this is where it sits 
Read more